I'm no scientist, but...
I'm no scientist, but...
On the minuscule cracklings of growth and change.
This weekend is the first real glimpse of spring here in Seattle, and for those of us who have endured what feels like six million years of dark, wet, and cold in the Pacific Northwest, we are jumping out of our skin with excitement - sunshine is no small thing around here.
When the sun finally starts to shine in Seattle, you go outside. And if you don’t, you experience what we like to call “sun guilt” - this nagging feeling that you SHOULD be outside.
So this week, I did it - I went outside. I took myself to a local trail without my earbuds and walked through the woods in sunny silence.
Although, it wasn’t all that silent.
The trail I chose is a square of green smack in the middle of our suburban city. There are major roads surrounding all four sides, and it’s also directly under the flight path of our local airport.
It didn’t take long for me to feel frustrated that I could only hear a few birds chirping over the oppressive sounds of traffic, emergencies, and landing planes. As I walked further into the center of the urban block of forest, I still couldn’t escape the city noises I was desperate to leave behind.
But just before I gave up all hope of experiencing actual sensory peace, I stopped in my tracks. I opened my ears wider. And to my surprise, a tiny sound rose up, tickling my eardrums.
It was a crackling.
A delicate symphony of pops and crinkles echoed around me.
I spun in circles, trying to pinpoint the source of the sound. I squatted low and stared at the dead leaves and baby green sprigs surrounding me. But as much as I squinted and leaned in, I couldn’t see a thing.
Nothing moved. Nothing gave away the sound I was hearing. And yet, the crinkling continued.
Now, I’m no scientist, so I’m not sure what I was actually technically hearing. But what it sounded like was the plants around me literally growing and unfurling before my very eyes (or ears, rather).
Like the long-awaited sunshine was opening them up. Like they were stretching from their slumber.
And because these organisms are just that small, I couldn’t see this happening with my eyes. But I could hear it.
I could hear the aliveness.
I didn’t need to see it to know that I was surrounded by living, growing, changing things. I just needed to listen a little longer to notice it.
I couldn’t help but think about how growth sometimes feels in our own lives.
Sometimes it’s hard to see the tiny movements. Sometimes it’s hard to hear above the droning noise of the rest of our lives. Sometimes things just don’t look a whole lot different on the outside, but they feel different in our souls.
Sometimes growth feels like a tiny delicate crackling of life, flickering under the surface. It’s happening, but it’s slow and small. So tiny that others may not even have a clue.
But I can tell you right now that if I walk this trail again in a month, I would find a very different scene before my eyes. All that tiny crackling will amount to bursts of green and blooms of white and shoots of flexible new limbs, reaching toward the sky.
But how do I know that? Do I have to see the blooming flowers right now to believe that they have spent all winter preparing to blossom? No, because as humans we have the experience of watching this happen year after year. We trust in the process of the seasons. We know what’s coming.
Like the buds and blooms around us, our own growth has seasons. And our sex life does too. Sometimes we have to lean in really far and listen very closely to believe in the aliveness. Other times, the growth and progress is visible from a mile away.
But we can trust in the process of the seasons.
Don’t discount the tiny cracklings of growth. They all amount to the change you’re longing for.
Just focus on squatting down and listening to the earth of your heart. Allow the noise of daily life to fall to the background, connect to your internal voice, and really listen to what she is saying to you.
Chances are, you’ll find the truth you need to take your next step forward.
And then you get to watch the flowers bloom.
Wise Words & Good Follows
Here’s a roundup of some of my recent favorites from the ‘gram. Take what you need and leave the rest.
Current Research Sources
We’re always learning from a variety of resources about sex and relationships. Note: not all of our research sources are necessarily recommendations from us - we just want to be open about where we’re learning from. Here’s what I (Rachel) am currently ingesting:
Book: “Desire” by Dr. Lauren Fogel-Mersy
Podcast: “Where Should We Begin” from Esther Perel
Book: “Magnificent Sex” by Kleinplatz & Ménard
Have a recommendation for us? Share it in the comments!
💗 Thanks for learning along with us!