The Not Tonight Project
The Not Tonight Podcast
S2:E10 | From Deferential to Discerning: Kate
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S2:E10 | From Deferential to Discerning: Kate

Caitlin’s longtime bestie Kate, a public health PhD student with a focus on gender norms and gender-based violence, shares how her own story led her into this unique field of study.

While her strict Catholic upbringing set the stage, Kate’s religious beliefs about sex were challenged in college, leading her to question societal norms and reevaluate her own perspectives.

After a season of intense exploration, Kate found herself in a coercive, toxic marriage where she lacked bodily autonomy. Now, seven years after her divorce, she’s still working through what it means to advocate for herself in her current relationship.

Additionally, Kate delves into the harmful effects of gender norms on both women and men, and the need to address emotional repression so we can strive for healthier relationships and communities.

Connect with Kate on Instagram at @krog262 or via email at krogers3@buffalo.edu

Content warning: this episode includes sexual content and explicit language, and discusses rape, assault, and sexual coercion.

If you or someone you know is experiencing sexual assault or domestic violence, reach out to the national hotlines below:

  • National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

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Discussion about this podcast

The Not Tonight Project
The Not Tonight Podcast
The Not Tonight Podcast, hosted by Rachel Walker and Caitlin Nochajski, is a space for brave women to boldly share their stories of sexual transformation in marriage and long-term relationships.
Even if your partner is your best friend, do you sometimes feel stuck in your sex life? In this podcast, we hear from others about the raw, honest truth of long-term sexual relationships -why it's so common to feel disconnected, and what it take to build a sex life you love.
May these deeply authentic stories encourage and reassure you, because spoiler alert: when we tell the truth, we have better sex.