The one where Caitlin says goodbye.

Well, more like, "See you later!"

“The engines are igniting; the earth is shaking; we are rising.

More than at any time in the past, we possess the knowledge, energy, and moral insight to break the patterns of history. We need the help of every advocate now—women and men alike.

No one should be left out; everyone should be brought in. Our call is to lift women up, and when we unite in this cause, we are the lift.”

—Melinda French Gates, Moment of Lift

Twenty years ago, in my college years and full of hope, I (Caitlin) decided to become a social worker.

I figured if I was going to spend my time and energy to work in this world, it might as well be for something that really helped people.

In the two decades since, I’ve worked in a variety of fields tackling different social issues. However, in a million years I never would have imagined myself working in the world of women’s sexuality.

Now, I can’t imagine myself doing anything else.

It was almost three years ago when Rachel and I took a trip to Austin, Texas, with a mutual desire to contribute to the conversation around women's sexuality. We didn’t know how we’d do this work, but we did know that we shared a strong conviction: the topic of women's sexuality has been severely underserved and that much of the existing information is not only unhelpful but often harmful.

We believed that women deserve more. So much more.

As we worked out together what this belief meant to us, we recognized the importance of engaging in meaningful conversations about our sex lives—not just casual snippets, but deep, genuine discussions.

By exploring what lies beneath the surface and truly listening to each other's stories, we knew we would gain a better understanding of ourselves. And so we created the Not Tonight Project, dedicating ourselves to sharing women’s stories, taking these conversations out of the shadows and into the light.

And we did just that.

Not only did we have these conversations publicly for three seasons of the Not Tonight Podcast, but Rachel and I spent hours and hours and HOURS learning, observing, studying, and conversing with each other and other real women about their very real relationships and very real stories of growing up with a variety of beliefs about sex.

I am incredibly proud of the work Rachel and I have accomplished at the Not Tonight Project. Every conversation, whether it be from an interview, a women's circle, or discussions with each other, has opened my eyes to the intricacies of this world and the layers around this tender topic.

We’ve watched women learn things for the first time, take deep breaths of relief, and feel the warm hug of “me too” from the women who stand beside her. We’ve had strangers approach us sharing how the podcast has given them reassurance and opened their eyes to things they didn’t even know they needed to discover.

Personally, this project has helped me overcome shame, found strength in my voice and clarity on my mission. I am not the same as I was three years ago.

More than ever, I believe down to my core that it is a human right for every person to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship with their sexuality.

I also believe we are living through an extraordinary period of human history where we have the opportunity to create more positive change than ever before. Sexuality has always been a controversial topic, yet it is integral to who we are as human beings. For too long, it has been marred by negative messaging, guilt, shame, and disconnection from this foundational part of ourselves.

But we are here to say no way… not anymore… NOT TONIGHT.

As Rachel mentioned recently, I am moving into a new season and will be stepping away from the Not Tonight Project, but it is not because I am stepping away from this work.

On the contrary, this change is so Rachel and I each have the opportunity to fully step into our unique gifts so that our work in this field can extend even further. I look forward to sharing with you in the future what exactly that looks like for me!

I also fully plan to remain active in this community in the ways I have capacity to (see you at the next Women’s Circle?).

I feel more excited and optimistic than ever about the potential changes that lie ahead. We have the insight and knowledge to better understand ourselves, and together, we can reclaim the gift of our sexuality. We can work towards a world where everyone can access the joy, pleasure, and connection that our bodies were created for. And I am so here for it. I hope you are too.

If you want to continue following my work, I am creating a new Substack, and I would love for you to follow me there! You can find me at

Her Liberation

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With all my love,

Caitlin